13

The package told me to take one, so I took 13.
There were no precautions so I should be all right, right?
I'll just go to sleep for a few days or more.
I'll wake up feeling rejuvenated and I will be happy.
This could work.
I could sleep off everything.
The pain, the sadness, the hope, the hurt.
I could sleep for a few days...or more.

Boulder in the Sky

I noticed something different about the sky. Something I had seen before but never seen. It was a work of brilliance the way it somehow had worked it's way into my eye sight tonight though. I was staring upwards at the stars when something that was out of place but was still in place caught my eye. The moon. I of course had seen it before but had never seen it work this hard to get my attention. It wanted to be watched tonight and it deserved my eyes. I watched and stared and tried to understand what it wanted. The way the light of itself caught itself was glorious. I couldn't leave. I was stuck in that spot, unmoving. The moon tonight was a great creamy white eye staring down at me. I wanted to touch it, reach it, and touch it just once. Then I would be happy. It seemed out of place as I had said. It seemed misplaced. Like what I was looking at was a trick of the light of the sun. It seemed fake but I wanted it to be real. It had to be...It showered down sapphire waves all around me and I was bathed in it's beauty. Everything around me was blue, a dark blue that cast shadows. It was gloomy but I couldn't help but to smile. It was a pleasurable gloom I guess. It was so nice. I felt free in the moon's rays. I felt that it was sin to hold me down by gravity. I wished to dance with the moon. To shed my shirt and to bound upwards towards the sky. To join the moon and dance next to the stars who winked and showered us with their jealous, puny waves of light. I won't be brought down. I won't let these barriers hold me. I will dance in the sapphire grasp of the moon. I will howl. I will be one with the sun. The puppeteer behind this whole charade. I will live tonight.

My night with a prostitute from down the road

I discovered something new through my explorations, though but I don't mind. Romance is for the birds who like to peck at the trees. The ones who leave dents in the armor of bark and leave for new wood. I believed everything the birds had to say though. So they are comparable to the sirens of the sea. I crashed on the rocks. One night of passion. I would have been better talking to the birds through the bars. Taking in their knowledge. I don't go outside nowadays. I learned something from what I found.

One small step

What if I landed on the moon? I could leave this place and blast off into oblivion. I would break out past the troposphere and out into the Exosphere. This could be my chance to dance. It would be easy you know? Without gravity my movements would be fluid. I would finally be the ocean and things would be... okay. Eventually I would land on the moon and my trip would be complete. I would colonize and invite my friends. We could bring trampolines and see who could jump into the sun first. It would be a fairly fair game I suppose. Though I do believe I would have the upper hand. Being that I am one with the stars, it would be quite easy for me to get the highest jump and become lodged in the sun's core. I wouldn't mind the heat. Heavens no, it would be great. I have always seen the sun as a gentle giant with a cold heart and I think we would both find that we are accustomed to each other's great heat. It would be serendipitous.

Home is where my feet take me

I've found something new. That home isn't where the heart is or where we are together. It's where I lay under my favorite tree in the woods and let the shallow breeze break over me. Where the sun collides with my skin and where the sounds of nature brush against me. This is home, though there is home in other locations. I find home while sitting in my car with my head against the window looking out on the world. It's my own personal fish tank yet it captures the world for my eyes to see. I see humanity. The way they walk, talk, and breath. It's beautiful really, it is. I see their interaction and it brings a irremovable smile to my face. This is true happiness.

I've attempted to find new ways to describe home but I always end up walking in circles to the same spot. I tried to place and shove three angels I truly loved into the shapes of my life but in the end they shoved back. I was able to put two of the three true loves into their space. Not the originally designated spaces but they are in my life. They fit so perfectly but alas I am not perfect. I was and am unable to fit that third angel in. I can't and won't, unfortunately because she was once my home. In the end she was a vulture, not an angel. Now, I say fly away.

So I was wrong three times. What of it? I'm through being right or wrong so I give up on taking chances of the heart. Though through all the searching I was able to understand myself better and where home is. Home is where my feet take me. Home is where ever I may be. Whether it be in the safety of my own bed, in a back alley way shivering from the cold, or on the ocean shore soaking up the sun's warmth.

Litlle lamp

I take the steps it takes to get to my room and flick the switch that Illuminates my room with white light. I then switch it back off. I sit in the darkness and let the waves come in. I listen as the water rushes in and races back to the sea. I grasp on the shoreline for the lamp. A small little lamp. My secondary light and I switch it on. I am illuminated in dull yellow light. I am so alone without that little lamp but with it I feel warmth. The emptiness inside is filled with the light and I can continue to breath.

Closing on Closure

Frankly, I'm sick of chasing a moving object and it seems that I'm constantly doing just that. I don't understand it and I have no clue what's wrong with me. I guess it's all for the pursuit of a life filled with soul or maybe I'm just human. I suppose that I had hopes that if I could find someone who could even remotely understand me that maybe I in turn could understand myself. I learned a lot from the Angels I chased. I found purpose, I found happiness, I found a new understanding of everything around me. I found this all in their eyes. Blue, Black, and Green eyes. Though, this is me closing on closure. I'm done. I'm no longer interested in finding anything in glimmering pearl beauties. I only find the ditch where I sleep.

Feathers

I have friends. They are each a feather to the angel wings that hold me up. They help me fly and keep me going. They help me breath and see the stars. Though I'm afraid I lost a friend today and thus a feather. This friend was a very large feather to my wings. She was almost the core component to how I was able to fly. This was a sad subtraction but I won't get my wings wet. I'll just fly lopsided for now.

Change of shoes

I'm not wearing the same shoes tonight.
I switched them for something odd...
The blurred shapes of humanity flashed around me
and I felt compassion for the ones who were walking.
They walked fluently but they were tongue tied.

Gambling Angels

Round acute angels.
Spreading out their wings and dodging out castles.
Carrying messages of truths be told.
Running from whatever they might be holding.
Double edged words and fragrant card holders.
Dealing out false bets and losing their winnings.

Red Angel

A wounded Jack of a queen's court.
Blood issued out of a gash of sorts.
I nursed and healed this red angel...
It was an odd affair.
The way I tended to her wounds and offered her my shoes.
The ones i walk with.

Breath of June

I have new breath.
It feels good...this feeling.
I am new in this breath of June.

She has a choke hold,
and I'm suffocating happily on her scent.
How does she do it?

This month of June has a breath.
A breath of June.
She helps me breathe.

I feel gentle winds.
Rolling softly onto me.
Her cee-oh-two.

Breaths of June help me breathe...

Muse

Muse. I scoff at the idea now. What is inspiration anyways? I can form delicate words placed so cleverly minus the inspiration to do so. I don't need a soul to know that I'm filled with soul. I have successfully retained the connection I have with the Earth so I can play off of that. I am going back to how June felt. The way the air touched my skin and the way the ground felt to the touch. I was on solid ground but old ghosts shook me out of place. I suppose it is my fault for dwelling so long. So this is where I stand now. New solid ground playing off of the stars and ocean current. A new muse.

Well hid to hide to run away

I've got a nice pair of shoes strapped onto my feet. They suit me well. I can walk for miles on end without fear of sore feet. Though I do wonder. What will happen when my shoes give out? When the soles come loose, when the aglets tear off of the laces, when the shoes color turns to the dirt that I tread on. My bare feet exposed. What will I become? I could gather the spare change in my pockets and purchase a new pair. Or I could take those scarce metal coins and throw them over my shoulder into the wishing well. I could wish for new shoes. Another option of course is to turn back and face the double edged beasts that pursue me. I could grin and bear it and take what they have set for me. I could stop this senseless running. I could stop chasing the stars, quite swimming in the Pacific, or I could all together stop breathing. This could suffice. Do you see? I am in connection with myself and everything around me. I know where my name starts and where it ends so I know who I am. So I'm perfectly fine with walking away. Like I said I have shoes. I am well hid to hide to run away.

Caught in the rain

Caught it the rain. It happened before my eyes and I was caught in the rain. I wasn't dancing and that's what scared me. It's always been my dream to dance in the rain but I found myself stationary on the cold ground breathing heavy. This was not what I wanted but at the same time I didn't care enough to stop. I was caught it the rain and I'm afraid I may be stuck here as the water falls against my skin and soaks me to the bone. I fear that I am now afraid of the rain and all that it brings with it.

Bears, Wolves, and the Thermosphere

I've been fearing the wolves double edged fur but what if I've been cowering from the wrong thing? What if this cozy feeling of home is actually a bear's grin hidden under a zippered veil. I wonder sometimes. Have I been reading the signs and road maps wrong? or does the crumpled edge of the atlas page hold something I'm missing? There's obviously something terribly right with how I'm feeling but what of the way I feel it. I lose myself. I'm often weaving in and out of the atmosphere with my thoughts and sometimes bits and pieces of me slip off into the debths of space and I lose myself...Though the air up here is nice.

Harmless codes

This marks it you know?
The end of an era and
this is all we have.

Words and things to
show that we are always there.
but where are we ay?

This questions posed
seems to be where we are now.
Forever Dwelling.

Will this move on soon?
Does this rotation ensue?
Will it keep turning?

My feet move...do yours?
or do they take steps backwards?
I'm afraid of that.

I put these codes here
so my words make sense to me.
This nonsense I speak.

Double meaning words.
That's the nature of my hand.
It's a sad habit.

416 237243 63 4878...
66 968 263 46 8876 66 63.
842817 255 4 226 729...

Trips to the ocean

I walked along the shoreline staring up at the stars. I was beside myself and wasn't watching where I was going I suppose but I tripped over the ocean. Once my hair dried I realized that I didn't mind the moisture so I jumped back in and let the waves eat me up.

Forever ours

It's forever my secret,
'till someone finds the code.
Then it will forever be ours.
7327387

Live to die to dance forever

It's bound to happen. We will die and become food for worms. We will become one with the Earth and we will be nonexistent. Once breathing we will be filled with dead stale air and the Earth will still continue it's rotation. What do we all live for? Do we live for life or do we live to one day die? We spend the first 18-20 years of our life preparing for living. Then the next 5-6 unscrambling our purpose. We are now 26 and between now and 35 we will settle into living. We will have a family and things will seem like puzzle pieces falling into place so very easily. We will have purpose for 5-15 years before turmoil and we are in our mid forties or early fifties. We are wound up and are slowing down. We have found purpose and have raised it to adulthood and now we are lifeless shells left behind. We begin withering away and gravity begins taking it's affect. Slowly dragging us six feet under. We have no purpose but to wait. Soon we die away and are placed in a wooden crate for shelter but that protection does nothing to the decomposition. Even after death we are still sinking deeper. Pathetic, fragile, soft beings we humans are. What were we built for and where are we heading? Are we forever strapped into this planet spinning into the sun? Or are we built for something more? Something beyond the stars perhaps that would be a fate I could swallow. We could live to die to dance forever in the stars. That would be an ending fit to my liking. That would make me smile.

Coded path

You search for answers to this coded path.
Seek the walls.
They speak forever truths.
63837 5683
63837 543
Keep walking...

Near

I know these hazel eyes keep you near,
but I've got other fears...
I'll always be your soft melody,
soaring over the starry sky.
Though I don't know if I can sing the song right...

Tonight you'll walk fast and I'll walk faster
but we'll go nowhere...
6...3...2...7...

Hide away

I want to go where you hide?
Where souls are administered at entry.
A soul would be a nice.
This is a far off destination though.

There are ropes and chains binding me here
but I'm distressed I guess.
Desperate for a last chance to dance.
This is a chance.

So take me there occasionally and
let me have a soul for one night
but when you're done just place me back in bed...

So I can dream once more.

Blank slate.

Hushed rushed push tones.
Taking back all that is broken and
placing it in the bin.
Does the scent make you feel alone?
I just want things to be fair...
That's all I ask.

Sailor days

The rent is up and I'll sail into the churning sea.
Forever sailing is what I'll be.
Dancing on deck and living alongside this tremendous current.
I'll dock in a place where I can watch the stars.
I leave at dusk...
4...6...6...3...2...9...3...

Angel wings

These feathery wings flick past your sight and you see nothing.
Do you see the Angel wings?
They are always there. Right behind the places that they hide.
You need to search a bit to achieve perception.
Walk past the garden gates to where they hide.
Behind the magnolias and babies breath.
Their wings are wet and they cry for you.
2...7...4...5...4...3...
I can feel your heart pulse through these metal boundaries and I know you're there.
You're safe here but your soft and torn.
You're hidden like the angel wings.
Right behind the places that you hide.
Why are you hiding with the angel wings?
Why are you peeking your soft torn lips from behind the garden gates?
5...4...3...7...

North Vs. South

We are complimentary.
I be the frigid north and she is the southern heat waves.
She cools off my warm skin and I warm her cold heart.
We end up in the center when we are together.
6....5....6....1...6....
We are dancers of Fort Sumter.
We dance on the battleground and cross over the fallen.
This is the beginning and I'll soon win but in the end a win for me is a win for all.

Sky Chasers

The caterpillar longs for
something more, the cocoon
is simply waiting for
something to happen, but
the butterfly has nothing
to chase but the sky...

1. Swaying 2. Green eyes 3. Interpretation 4. Acceptance 5. Me

1. Swaying

Swaying, such a thing.
Rhythmically together it seems.
Can we stay like this?

2. Green Eyes

Tremendous green eyes.
Five twenty...Five seventy
Glinting forever

3. Interpretations

Can we write our tale?
Each take our own way to write.
Interpretations...

4.Acceptance

Can we meet somewhere?
A place where we are not judged.
Acceptance my dear.

5. Me.

Me? This is profound.
Is this a question or declared?
Us is all I hear.

Falling Meteoroids

We were stuck in the dark sky with the spotted diamonds laying about around us. Eye contact could make me think crazy things on this night and all I wanted was to stare. I said I was crazy. We laid there talking about the flaws of this situation and I lost myself sometimes, but was instantly snapped to reality by the sound of her voice. It alarmed me as the time flashed by. We were in the forever darkness. I could see her outline in the dark and I noted each feature on her face. I couldn't help myself really. There was something curious I noted though. There were flashes of white and yellow in here hair. It would flare out and then retreat into the deep dark. It was a glorious and spectacular event. I was no longer losing myself to myself but I was losing myself to her. It wasn't until we parted though that I truly understood the flares in her hair. It appears there are shooting stars stuck in her hair, but it's all right. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Holes in my brain...

I wish I remembered things. Entire thoughts, actions, moments are gone from my memory and I can't get them back. I can lay in the grass and stare at the clouds or stars and I'll forget why I lay there. I forget why I start each step with a right foot. I forget where I lost my soul and most importantly I forget why I forget. Circles it seems. I need some momentary locking mechanism to hold me in place for even a split second. So maybe in that split second I can remember why I forgot why I forget and I can start remembering the important things in my soulless life.

Rainbow Trout

Pulsations pulse and I'm sitting here thinking. What if we could change our colors? Rather than shed out of fads and ways of carrying ourselves. Not to colors of race but to ones to set apart ourselves from our breathing brethren. Deep down we all look the same and are made of water. 70%... I would like to stand out but not by outlandish means. I merely want to be known as TrixxSpiritCatcher, the kid with the red stripe down his side.

Trashy fur coats

This is just for a certain lamb.
Lay em' to sleep and lay to slaughter.
These canine habits are just the wolf.
I promise to eventually hang up my coat.
But will you sit down and stay a while?
I'll hang our coats in the trash,
and we can watch wolves jump over the fence.

Thunder Root < Lightning Leaves

I want to re-imagine the sky.
No more of the Lightning first followed by thunder.
It'll defy science but I've done it before.
I need the root.
The one that shakes the earth and shapes the mountains.
Thunder Root.
I'll plant it in your backyard and a tree will soon sprout.

Limbs will intertwine the sky and limbs will give birth to leaves.
These leaves will soon leave and Autumn will be here.
Did it work?