Where's the broom?

When did I make the change? When did I decide that I was going to become this. I loved everything about what I used to be. I was blind but I loved that I didn't know a thing. That I was safe in a cocoon of fake walls. I'm in the final phase. I always fashioned myself to be some sort of pennical of human. That if everyone could reach me on my tower that we would reach a clear consensus. That we were fine now and that we could move on...But that made me what I hated. I told myself that I wasn't one of them but deep down I was. It keeps resonating. The past you know. It always does. A pebble in the water creates a ripple effect that keeps going for years. The future and present is just riding those ripples made by the past. You can't just forget the past. I know that now but what if the past is blinding. It flashes you with its brilliance and you are stunned by it. You are stationary and you can't move on. Your stuck and you don't know what to do. We all wish for it. Simplicity... We all wish that we could just throw our hands up in the air and scream FUCK IT but life isn't a thing like a roller coaster. It's not on a designated path or track that carries you to your destination. Life isn't as people perchieve. It's not as easy as they say. They're...we're all fooling ourselves. But we're only fools if we give up...